Chapter 4: Lili Marleen

Vor der Kaserne,

Vor dem großen Tor,
Stand eine Laterne,
Und steht sie noch davor,
So woll'n wir uns wieder seh'n,
Bei der Laterne wollen wir steh'n,
Wie einst, Lili Marleen...

     Jennings was tuning to radio Belgrade, just for that song, it seemed. A brief chance at escapism, something longed for, something now unobtainable. For some perhaps. I have my goals. Still... say what you will about the Germans... they do have good taste. It was about 10 O'clock. It had been a while since my initial stay – the Germans hadn't let up. They were close. That aircraft carrier was ruining our days. Our nights, too. Maybe not all our nights. Laura smokes. It calms her nerves. I do too, I think. I never touch 'em though. Tomorrow I'm back in the fight. I might just start. Best to make the most of the time we have now. Make it last for as long as we can. You never know which way the world will turn.

     The brass wanted to keep the unit together. Petersen has been off and about lately. Keeps on muttering that they're coming. I think he's terrified. He's right to be. That job we did was important though. If we hadn't, they'd be here right now. Auchinleck's waiting. Not nearly as competent a commander as Monty. But he's the best we have right now. Those bloody yanks. Still sitting on the sidelines. They aren't even moving against the Japs. That old saying, evil only truly triumphs when good men do nothing. Do nothing yanks. I've got my own problems.

     The job we're to do is simple enough, Auchinleck's got his plan. But it wasn't Auchinleck. Apparently he learned from Monty's charred corpse. Fight from 250 km away. That's the commander's way. The guy he's sent is a major, Duncan Albert. Scot. Fresh out of military school. To be expected. So, what is Auchinleck's plan? – sink the Zeppelin. How we do it is carefully. Frog suits. Plastic explosives. Magic. It's a temporary measure. The Germans will no doubt raise the ship. War situation is not good though, so this is a necessary step. The British fleet in India has been knocked out of commission, courtesy of the Japs. Gibraltar is contested. The U-boat industry and the German Kriegsmarine have been pumping out ships at an astonishing rate. Magi-tech factories are spewing these things out, at least one capital ship or U-boat being launched per day by the briefing's estimates. Stalin's reeling from his attacks. Stalingrad is going badly for them. So, our job is to destroy that aircraft carrier to regain some semblance of control over the Mediterannean. Without that ship, we might have a chance in taking North Africa back.

     Laura's waiting for me after I get out of the briefing. She's frowning.

     “Don't go.” she says. I wasn't expecting that. “I know something terrible will happen if you do. Something's going to go horribly wrong if you do. I don't know what it is, but it will happen to you, your men, and all of us.”

     “My hands are tied. I can't say no to this mission.” I try to console her. “If I don't go, they'll send somebody else. The rest of the unit will go with him. I know my boys better. I know how to get us out of a tight spot. Besides that, even if I don't go, we'll still have that problem. If I don't go, you might die instead. I can't bear that. I know our time here has been short. I know this mission is practically suicide. But somebody has to do this mission. Better me than somebody with kids.” Tears started flowing from her eyes.

     “I saw my father die during the blitz. He went back in to save my ten year old brother. The bomb hit the room. The roof collapsed, and I nearly died that day too. You tell me his suicide was justified. Don't go. Please don't go.” she keeps on begging.

     “Listen... I'm not doing this for me... I'm doing this for you. Jerry doesn't care about firing on hospitals or anything like that. It's harder in the air. I can't... I won't let them or anybody else hurt you. And I'll come back. One way or another, I'll come back...”

     She can't dissuade me. She keeps crying for the rest of the night. I hold her tight. In the end, I give her only these words: “Fortuna Fortes Adiuvat.” – Fortune favours the bold. And by god, I feel lucky.